(no subject)

i lay in bed staring at the ceiling 
thinking of ways to hurt myself 
without getting caught by my family 
the blades are out and they're all shiny
i carve my name into my thighs 
it feels so good and it makes me giggle 

i cut deep watching the blood spill 
it makes me feel less numb and dull 
like i'm not lost in the abyss 
the little razor is my salvation 
it's what keeps me going strong 
my best friend and my protector 

i masturbate after the cutting 
feeling empty yet somehow whole 
its the only time i can express myself 
i rub my clit until i orgasm 
tasting my own cum with my fingers 
feeling like a slut but i don't care 

i just don't know what to do with this life 
just a cycle of strife 
i feel lost in this tangled mess